Pierre
Welcome back!
I did something bad.
Well, technically I haven’t done anything bad yet, but I’m totally going to.
I met Pierre while I was interviewing him for a position at my company. Yes, I was interviewing him. As I was trying to stick to the line of questioning I had about his SEO and SEM strategies, I just kept thinking to myself, “We can’t hire this guy, I’m totally going to sleep with him”.
A few weeks after the interview, hearing nothing about the job, he asked me out over email. Hadn’t heard anything else about him from my boss about bringing him on the team, so I figured that we probably wouldn’t hire him and it was ok to down a couple cocktails with the Parisian. As soon as we sat down to have drinks, he informs me that he has another interview with my CEO the following day. Great.
The date goes fantastically. His French accent makes my clothes want to fall off and I drink a little more than I had planned on. He tries to convince me to go to dinner with him at 10pm in Hollywood but I have to get up early for a meeting and I will totally sleep with him if we leave the bar together, which goes against my no-sex-on-the-first-date policy. I pull myself away and have an awkward goodbye as we’re rushed by the valet bringing the car. I want to grope him, but settle for polite kisses on the cheek. Seriously, I can’t even get some outside the shirt action?
He shows up at my office the next day and flirts with me over text as he sits 6 feet away and waits for his interview with the CEO. This is most likely going to end badly or in a lot of awkwardness.
I still want to sleep with him.
Who’s paying for dinner?
There are many differing opinions on this subject, especially in regards to different situations, who asked who out, how many times you’ve gone out, etc. etc. but I’ve come to decide that none of it really matters. Here’s the simple answer….
It’s a test.
There are so many different intricacies that go into the moments that happen after the cheque arrives at the table. How long it takes each of you to reach for your wallet, who grabs the bill, how long you argue about who’s going to pay, whether you even offer at all. Each of these things are indicative of how compatible you are.
I want a guy who has his credit card out when the bill comes and tells me to put my damn money away when I reach for my wallet.
My friend Lisa prefers not to reach for her wallet at all and instead send a polite text message thanking him for dinner the next day.
Another friend Julie doesn’t mind chipping in or picking up the whole bill if he’s ok with it. As long as he gets it next time.
There’s no one right answer for any particular situation. The post meal behavior says a lot about how well you’re likely to get along. Just go with it, do what you really want to do and what would be perfect in your ideal universe and you’ll learn a lot about the person you’re dining with.
I went on a second date a few days ago. I have a policy of offering twice to put my card down (with absolutely no intention of paying for dinner) and he accepted on the second offer and made some sort of weird not-quite-split-down-the-middle math on the bill where he ended up paying more. Which only served to further irritate me. I then got a kiss on the cheek in the car when he dropped me off. On the second date. This is already not working out for me.
I guess I should probably mention that you can send your questions to charlotte@insidestorydating.com.
Hi, I’m Charlotte
I’m 26, I live in LA and I date a lot. I get excited, I get frustrated and just about everything in between. Men are kind of a hobby of mine. I’ve been called “boy crazy” a little too often to consider it a coincidence. The interaction between two people when they’re playing the dating game never ceases to fascinate me. I enjoy the game and particularly like when I win. Which is often.
Since moving to LA almost 2 years ago, I’ve dated a fair number of guys and had some interesting experiences, learned a lot and know what I want and don’t want. I have a lot of friends that come to me for dating advice, so I hear it all. I’ve also experienced a lot of it. Dating and relationships are not always easy, but bouncing things off of other people helps get a better perspective on it.
So, you need some advice? Want a second opinion? Go ahead, ask. You might not like it, but I’m usually right 
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