Can I buy you a drink?
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Thursday night I was out and about and a guy asked to buy me a drink. I figure this is probably the most common pick up situation out there so I will give you the play-by-play. Maybe you guys out there will gain insight or maybe you’ll be completely turned off by what goes through my mind in situations like this one – but I will be honest nonetheless. 
When I decided to close out my tab I left my group of friends and went up to the bar to do so. I squeezed in between two guys because if given the option when presented with a packed bar, I will find two guys and squeeze between them. This gives them the opportunity to strike up a conversation. Viola! The guy next to me says hi and asks me my name – works like a charm. We introduced ourselves and he asked me what I do. We had a simple exchange and then he asked to buy me a drink. Since I was planning on leaving (it’s was late on a week night) I turned him down and said no thank you but I’m heading out. He asked me who I was there with and also if I come there often (of course). I didn’t think it was a cliché thing to ask though as he said it pretty casually. I could tell he was interested in me and was going to try to keep me at the bar as long as he could with simple conversation. He was extremely pleasant and laid back, not aggressive or creepy so I was happy to chitchat. He asked me again if I was sure I didn’t want him to buy me a drink. At this point I asked myself, why wouldn’t I let him buy me a drink? I looked at him – really looked at him. He’s probably about 10 years older than me – not a problem. He’s a bit scruffy and extremely casual in his dress – not all too impressive but not a big deal. He has dark hair that’s kind of long and he’s slightly overweight – overall not my type. I declined the second offer. At this point I had learned that he was a paramedic so I reinforced my not having another drink with the fact that I was leaving and had to drive – this was true and I really had hit my drink limit. He said he hoped that he would see me back there in the near future. I said I’m sure I’ll run into him again as I liked the bar. I said goodbye and walked away with his gaze still on me. I liked that he stared after me. I also liked that I was the object of his affection for even just those few minutes it took to pay my tab. Mr. Paramedic will have to find someone else to play doctor with. Or, if I do return to that bar and he’s there, maybe persistence will win me over. I do like a fighter!
Comments
One Comment on Can I buy you a drink?
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Ginny on
Mon, 23rd Mar 2009 3:18 pm
You were very good at holding off. I imagined a bad ending to the evening by the way you were proceeding. Especially if you had already ‘reached your drink limit’. My policy now is, meet them somewhere other than a bar. I have done the dating online thing and find it very easy to work around. I meet guys during the day in an open space and walk for an allotted amount of time. I know my walk is an hour……good enough to get to know someone. No alcohol involved. Meet for coffee, oK. But beware of the bar pickup. Arrange to meet them elsewhere, another day and time; if you are interested. Or if you really trust yourself and your intuition, go for it. I am older, no more chances for screw ups.
I did, however, break my rule and met someone online who wanted to meet me at a nice restaurant. I had said no, but then gave in since it was an early meeting. I did accept one glass of wine and because he was late he wanted to buy my dinner. I accepted that also. That was against my policy, but I have been with him now for three and a half years!!
Things do work out!!
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