Just Pull My Braids Already!
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I realized today that my way of flirting is to give a guy a hard time. Now, I’m not one of those women who enjoy castrating men… I just enjoy some fun loving, sarcastic, pain in the ass nudging. Sometimes I do go too far and then I regret hitting that point. Men don’t like to be put down, made to feel like they aren’t good enough. When I cross that line, I’m being completely sarcastic but not everyone can take a joke, or in my case, sarcasm. What I’m really saying is, “You are talented, wonderful, and interesting,” but what comes out is, “You suck, you suck, you suck.” Or something like that. I assume these guys know they are great and that’s why I tease. But I’m wrong. Of course most of us aren’t 100% confident and a bit of that insecurity comes out in a guy when pushed enough, especially by a woman – even if it’s in good fun.
Why do I do this? That is what I was pondering today as I, yet again, was giving a guy a hard time. He even called me out on it! He pulled back, told me I was picking on him and then I felt badly and slightly embarrassed because he felt embarrassed. I thought long and hard about this. What did I expect out of the teasing? I expected to be teased back, a slight tug on a braid. This also horrified me. Why am relying on school yard tactics?
Then it hit me. I suppose I like strong men who challenge me back. I like to push them but what I really want is a push back. I want someone who is confident and who will take the lead even though I have a strong personality. I want someone to put me in my place when I’m being over aggressive. This doesn’t happen often if you can imagine. It’s not that I want an argument but I like good solid debates and discussions and when I’m being a pain in the ass, shut me up! I suppose the guy who I’ll end up with will be this type. I will continue to push, nudge and poke (within reason) until someone stops my mouth with a kiss.
It’s a good feeling to realize this. If I know how I am and how people react I can make sure I don’t cross the line. Also, I know what it is that I’m looking for. I don’t have to fear that I won’t know a good catch when he’s standing in front of me. You can’t find something you want if you don’t know what it is that you’re looking for. What is it that YOU are looking for?
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