Who’s paying for dinner?
Welcome back!
There are many differing opinions on this subject, especially in regards to different situations, who asked who out, how many times you’ve gone out, etc. etc. but I’ve come to decide that none of it really matters. Here’s the simple answer….
It’s a test.
There are so many different intricacies that go into the moments that happen after the cheque arrives at the table. How long it takes each of you to reach for your wallet, who grabs the bill, how long you argue about who’s going to pay, whether you even offer at all. Each of these things are indicative of how compatible you are.
I want a guy who has his credit card out when the bill comes and tells me to put my damn money away when I reach for my wallet.
My friend Lisa prefers not to reach for her wallet at all and instead send a polite text message thanking him for dinner the next day.
Another friend Julie doesn’t mind chipping in or picking up the whole bill if he’s ok with it. As long as he gets it next time.
There’s no one right answer for any particular situation. The post meal behavior says a lot about how well you’re likely to get along. Just go with it, do what you really want to do and what would be perfect in your ideal universe and you’ll learn a lot about the person you’re dining with.
I went on a second date a few days ago. I have a policy of offering twice to put my card down (with absolutely no intention of paying for dinner) and he accepted on the second offer and made some sort of weird not-quite-split-down-the-middle math on the bill where he ended up paying more. Which only served to further irritate me. I then got a kiss on the cheek in the car when he dropped me off. On the second date. This is already not working out for me.
I guess I should probably mention that you can send your questions to charlotte@insidestorydating.com.
Comments
2 Comments on Who’s paying for dinner?
-
jennifer k on
Thu, 1st Jan 2009 12:55 pm
-
Charlotte Daniels on
Sat, 3rd Jan 2009 12:59 pm
OMG that EXACT situation just happened with me and a new guy I’m dating!! So annoying!! Either pay for all of it, or split equally. Cheap bastard. Actually, I think I’m more annoyed that this signals to me he isn’t putting forth much of an effort with me. Sigh. Love dating.
Seriously, who knows what the hell is going through someone’s mind when they think that that is an acceptable form of behavior. Effort or no effort, you don’t want a guy that doesn’t know how to act like a normal human being.
Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!
RSS and Twitter!
