Who’s Qualified to Date You?

January 15, 2009 by Charlotte Daniels
Filed under: Advice

Welcome back!

interview The best way to approach dating is like hiring someone for a position. This way you know what you’re looking for to fill the position and you don’t end up on the series of bad dates that I’ve been on recently.

Make it an opportunistic hire. You can get along fine without them, but if someone happens to see your posting and walk through the door that you think would be a magical fit, definitely give them an interview.

An interview that involves some tongue kissing.

So give it some thought, flesh out the details of what you want in a mate. Know what your “must-haves” and “nice-to-haves” are. Dating lot of different people really helps figure out what’s acceptable and what makes you want to lock your single self in your apartment and start collecting cats.

Here’s what’s on my qualifications list….

Male 27-34, never married, no kids, no pets
Witty and sarcastic. Must be a heavyweight verbal champion. I tend to scar people for life with my incredible wit, so thick skin is an asset. Must be able to take it and give it right back. Make me fall on the floor dying with laughter.
Successful, confident and focused. Ivy league degrees preferred, MBA or JD strongly recommended. Career should be a strong driver in life. I really don’t want to see you that often, so get busy with work.
Stylish and sophisticated. Look great in a sport coat and wear one often. Must know that sleeves tops or tank tops are never an acceptable form of attire in any environment. Ever. If you own a basketball jersey or have worn a sleeveless shirt out in public in the last year, stop reading now and walk away.
Adventurous and well traveled. I want to hear stories about how you bungee jumped in Kuwait or climbed up mushroom mountain under the full moon on Koh Phagnan. Trips with your family to a resort in Hawaii don’t count.
Party like a rockstar. You and your brahs should be popping bottles in Hollywood on the weekends. And don’t ever call them brahs. Especially not with a straight face or using the word “sweet” in the same sentence.
I don’t ever want to hear about your feelings.
A face and body that make me want to cry. Bonus points for running marathons in your spare time. I should have a hard time keeping my clothes on when you’re around.
Must fuck like a champion.

Remember, hire slowly, fire quickly.

What’s on your qualifications list? Email me at Charlotte@insidestorydating.com

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